For most of our lives, Christmas followed a predictable script. Decorations came out of storage. Gift ideas were shared, credit cards whimpered quietly in the wallet. Gifts were bought, wrapped, unwrapped, politely admired, and eventually relocated to a closet or that mysterious place where unused things go to die.
Then something unexpected happened… Our adult children sat us down, almost nonchalantly and said, “What if we stop doing gifts? And instead use that money to take family trips together.”
That was the moment Christmas quietly evolved.
Now, when we gather for Christmas it includes what we call presentation day. This is not symbolic. This involves actual PowerPoint presentations projected on the widescreen TV. Each couple presents a proposed trip. Mountains. Beach. Disney. Camping. Cruises. Occasionally something wildly ambitious that sounds great until you remember knees, children’s sleep schedules, and Nonnie’s new hips.
There are slides, photos, videos, and sometimes budgets. Questions asked, lobbying is commonplace, and then a vote is held. Democracy, alive and well in the living room. Those trips come with traditions of their own. Chief among them: the Annual Family Putt-Putt Golf Championship.
We are not a competitive family. Except for the minor detail that there is a six-pound championship belt awarded to the winner, which lives for an entire year in the champion’s home as a visible reminder of dominance. Totally healthy.
Scorecards are completed with care, tallied and reviewed. Then re-reviewed. Disputes are handled with the passion of a contested election. Ball placement is debated. Course conditions are referenced. Historical rulings are cited, often incorrectly, but with absolute confidence. After all, a championship belt is at stake.
What’s interesting is how often this comes up in conversation. Friends and coworkers comment on what a great idea it is, some even wonder if they could pull it off in their own families. During the most recent presentation day, someone finally said what we were all thinking: choosing vacations over gifts has been one of the best decisions we’ve made as a family. No debate needed, we all agreed.
Here’s the proof. None of us remembers most of the gifts from years past. Not the expensive ones or the thoughtful ones. But we remember every trip: the drives, the flights, the bad weather, the inside jokes, the late nights, the laughter, and of course crowning the family Champion. It has become part of our shared family language.
Choosing experiences over things has changed the tone of everything. The trips give us stories, they build closeness. They create laughter that shows up years later at random dinners. Most of all, they give you time, real, uninterrupted time with people you love.
So yes, we still decorate. We still gather. We still eat too much. But Christmas isn’t about what’s under the tree anymore. It’s about what we’ll remember… what we’ll vote on next… and who’s currently wearing the belt.
Gifting memories beats giving gifts, every single time.
